but then, it snowed.

Yesterday was an anxious time for me. The second day of the New Year, the second day in which I still hadn’t even started many of the good intentions I thought I’d set in the previous year. To be honest, this transition into 2022 hasn’t felt like freedom, but more like a return to the uncertainty we were all feeling when Covid first hit nearly two years ago. I’m scared. I’m worried. Heck, I’m tired. And the only way I’ve been able to deal with that over the last two days? By doing laundry. By planning meals. By sitting in front of the TV and watching a marathon of Married at First Sight while the rain poured down outside.

But then, it snowed.

Four glorious inches of snow poured down from the sky, waking us up to a glowy white winter wonderland. And just like that, something in me was alive again, throwing snowballs at 11 pm, laughing, happy.

As I’ve said before, there’s just something about winter in the country – on a farm – that moves me forward. When baby goats are screaming in the pasture, when the ground is frozen, when the fire has gone out and the house is freezing, there is no time for inaction. And the action that must be took – the strapping on of snow boots before the coffee is even ready – is enlivening. It is hope. It is perseverance.

When the rain first turned to snow last night, I could feel something within me turn, too. For these last few weeks, I’ve been mourning the loss of Christmas, the loss of a winter that never came, the loss of time and focus and centering. But with this fresh canvas, this layer of pure white that outlines the trees against a brilliant morning sky, some part of me is coming back. Some part of what was lost is being found again.

I came across this post from Morgan Harper Nichols on Instagram: “Just for fun! Take a screen shot for the word of the year!” And the word I received?

renew : the process of starting something again after a pause

This year stands to renew so many paused aspects of my life – my work at Rockvale Writers’ Colony, my personal writing, my determination to get things in order, my hope for the future. I just hope I can keep at it, that I can remember this purposeful feeling of a snowy Monday, January 3rd, 2022. And whether the snow falls upon your neck of the woods this week, or whether some other magical thing is headed your way, I hope you can hear it calling, too. Because lord knows we all need it.