looking back, looking forward : a preview

I’ve been out of my element for 11 days. No cooking, no cleaning, no work, no schedule. Just living out of a suitcase, wondering where I left my pocket-size deodorant this time, praying nothing leaked (again) in my bag, and wondering how I’m gonna make sense of it all when I do, finally, find my way back to reality.

The next several posts y’all will see from me will be a culmination of all the things I’ve experienced in the last week and a half. You’ll hear about Pixar balls, Disney Princess power songs, Star Wars, and fandom. You’ll hear about travel, disillusionment, homesickness, and compounded anxieties.

You’ll hear about the creative journey, the act of stepping away from your ideas and letting them breathe, and allowing yourself to reside in a world that’s far different from home. But most importantly, you’ll hear more about the pressure we face to personally brand ourselves, and the deep inner conflict that we force on our psyches when we try to make sense out of two completely contradictory points of interest.

Change is stirring, and while the Wild Woman is good and well, she’s still hard at work trying to piece herself back together. There’s plenty to be said and written, but for now I’ll leave you with this thought:

What is it that makes you happy? What do you love? What do you wish for? And are you comfortable when that changes, when that steps away from what you expect, when it contradicts who you always wanted to be? Do you ever feel shame for it? Confusion? A fleeting sense of “this can’t last for long”?

Well, hold on tight, wild people, because we’re in for one long, twisting ride.

….and if that’s not enough of a teaser, here’s me being the happiest little colorful Pixar ball you’ve ever seen a 28-year-old come to be. Because I’m sure y’all didn’t see that coming. (Let’s just say I don’t wear primary colors.)