So, I just found out that my last post was my 100th, and not knowing this previously, I hope it was a decent 100th. I mean, the idea of sincerely stopping in a busy moment to love yourself regardless of all your self-inflicted imperfections felt like a turning point for me. And I hope it was powerful for y’all, as well.
I just wanted to check in with y’all because, while I can say that A Necessary Rebrand has certainly lived up to its name, and seen a multitude of rebrands occur over the course of 100 posts, it feels good to see that number and 1.) know that I’ve stuck with it & 2.) know that I’m even closer to being who/what I want to be as a writer and blogger.
I think we’re finally getting there, y’all. I think the next 100 will just get better.
3 years ago, I was feeling a little hopeless. I’d finally gotten a job that I wanted and, yet, it wasn’t what I wanted at all. I wasn’t doing creative work, I was more stressed than I should have been as a receptionist, and I didn’t feel connected to my coworkers or the business I was participating in. I was getting by, but I wasn’t fulfilled. And what was going to fulfill me…was writing.
Around this same time, I was experiencing a major shift in my personal life. While I wasn’t getting the “country” I wanted at my job on Music Row, I was leaving that job at least three nights a week to get my country on a little further south. Some nights, I’d pull up to my boyfriend’s family farm in my tight black jeans and cheap Target ballet flats to encounter a truck and trailer primed for hay hauling. I was willing to jump in and get dirty, but I quickly learned that a spare set of “work clothes” would always be necessary. I began living two lives. And when I’d go back to sit at my desk the next morning, I felt like I was holding on to some kind of special secret. Like nobody knew what I was truly capable of. Heck, I was only just beginning to learn what I was capable of. And it made me feel stronger, new, and inspired.
This new lifestyle dichotomy, along with my urge to create, resulted in this blog. It gave me something to look forward to on long, quiet workdays when I had nothing else to do. It gave me an escape into my own mind and my own memories. It forced me to dream up new concepts and ideas, to strive for something a little more crisp and interesting in my writing.
And it still does that today.
Who I am in this moment is the culmination of a lot of different influences and personally necessary rebrands. But it’s also a result of this blog. Doing this little thing for me – just for me – gives me a sense of accomplishment and skill. Sometimes, I will moan and groan for weeks over some post that might never come to fruition. Other times, I’ll passionately whip something up in 45 minutes. Rarely do I see a growth in numbers, follows, or likes – but more often than not, I find more confidence in and compassion for myself. This blog is my pet project, but it’s also the part of me that I get to share with the world. It’s the tool that breaks the introvert out of her shell, that brings the wild out of the woman, that gives some purpose to an otherwise “just okay” kind of day.
So what does this mean for y’all?
Well, as Millennials, and products of an instant gratification nation, sometimes it’s hard to justify our passions if we don’t know what will come of them. Like, what good is a blog if I don’t make any money from it? What benefit can I get from crafting if I don’t open up an Etsy shop? Why write if no one is going to read it? I have to convince myself that it’s still worth it every day.
Because even if you’re all alone in your passion – even if it’s a money-less side hustle – if it’s making you happy, and if it’s helping you improve, then it’s worth it. Just for you.
There’s a lot of competition and pressure on the internet. There are a lot of people telling us we need to develop our “side hustle” or create our own business. I recognize that there are a lot of things I could do better, or differently, or with more fervor. Heck, 100 posts sounds like a lot, but what is it really in the grand scheme of things? It’s just the beginning. It’s just a snippet. It’s just potential for more. And whether that more benefits me, or you, or a million strangers, I think I might just stick with it.
What’s your thing? What’s something you wish you “could” do, but for whatever reason, keep putting off? Don’t worry about the future – just give it a go.
Like Sheryl Crow always says, “If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad.”